i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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