My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
