I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
Randomize
