Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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