I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
