How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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