Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Randomize
