Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
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