I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
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