This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Randomize
