Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
handjob tips. give me some.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
