Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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