I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
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Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
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Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
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