6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
