That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Randomize
