i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
