Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
