Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
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