I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Who died my cat blue again?
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize