remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
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