Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
He did a backflip because drugs
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
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