well you can't waste a boner
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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