Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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