im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
