This phone does not accept mass texts. Try again.
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
He has the fingertips of a God
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