just come out here and I will go home with you...
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
3pm strippers are depressing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
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