so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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