i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
Best friends brother. Beat that.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Randomize
