sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Houston, we have a blender
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Randomize
