a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Randomize
