Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
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