I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
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I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
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I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
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