you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
