I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
