Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
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