hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
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He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
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Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
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