Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
should my penis look like a turkey
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
