just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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