Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
I just threw up on my dentist
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
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