epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
