that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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