dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
