Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize