you would pick up someone in the library
accomplished twins. life is a go
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
