I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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