Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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