its not stalking. its research.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
