I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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