We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Say something about gay babies.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Randomize
