I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I have fence marks all over my body
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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