Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
