You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
