On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
