Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize
