If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Randomize