I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
