That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Randomize
