Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
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I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
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Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
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