I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
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