It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
