she looked like the bat from fern gully.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
the room spins SO much faster in panama
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
