i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
